Bleeding_for_two Spacious_Core. Suicidal_Rebirth  Alone_inside Abysmal_distance The_leaf Exist, I do A Smile

		The Octopus 5/10/06 Sticky twigs twitch in the darkness I'm driving a whale, where should i park this? A massive mammal wrapped up in a net Pregnant behind this smiling sunset Going down on the stage of this act Like the burgundy curtains that erase the face This actress burns her numb bones, straining Dance, entertainment monkey They're waiting Words enter and leave, falling out of her sleeve Tricks transparent and regret inherent In the scene she's trying to weave And now the juggler will balance her weight On a red ball and if she falls she'll whip up a joke And stuff it down her octopus throat Eight arms each distracting away From the eyes that know what the mouth can't say

		A Smile 4/20/06 Gentle open flowers, white and pink Sitting high with me in my tree Caressing my eyes, they whisper inside Swaying just for me Sweetly haunting the April breeze White petals and eyes float Thoughts swirl and disappear The cigarette burns away moments here The smoke inside blesses a smile As the soft sounds of leaves stir  The sky is a pale and truthful blue My lips love becoming you

		Suicidal Rebirth 4/20/06 Stretch time into an infinite celtic knot Reskin me, decorative distraction, grow Until I forget what I was running from Tell the angels where I live, demons already know An obstacle course in the labyrinth of the mind Look up out of it, rise above the burning maze Up in flames, name no names Just forget and thrust forward the days Fuzzing thumping dizzying pumping Music lead my heart into herself To escape the mind, into the moment, I jump Off the bridge of suicidal rebirth

		Bleeding for two 4/18/06 She handles me like a tall pisces surgeon With quick, dirty hands Unapologetic about the infections smeared with sand She says to me, if you remove this faulty organ You will be better But the black grit under her nails whispers of cruelty And moving shadows under those target seeking, squinting eyes Tighten my muscles to lock around me as she tries To calculate the scalpel I have made mistakes and so have you Why should I bleed for two?

		Abysmal distance 4/17/06 A leaf lies on the ground Curled up like a withered hand That died reaching I am that leaf A tree frozen in growth Delicate thin branches Naked and dehydrated of purpose Moving stiffly with the ignorant wind I am that tree Wet, brown grass Dormant and dependent under the sky Lies waiting For breeze or shoe I am that grass The pale sky Open and receiving Wondrous, mysterious and admired Unreachable yet unavoidable I am that sky I hold around you, my sun I am the air that surrounds your shining Whether you fall from me Or rise to bloom colors Of deep red, yellow and purple Across the atmosphere of my waiting heart You breathe me, leave me Watch over and need me I am here waiting You are there, so close and far Responding like the sun in winter And silencing Like cold, soft and quiet heavy snow Laying your wordless weight over my observant, articulate ground Your frost burns into my green blades of grass So I wait in pain, knowing spring may return You are the sun in the starving blue Eyes burn, my heart lifts to you I can imagine the warmth of your summer But you remain far, teasing there in the cold sky I cannot move Like a passive plant with no voice to demand Only eyes to watch Staring without an option At your changing colors Feeling the distance between Like the pain of sharp icicles Jolting deep into my hope  Slowly the rough surface Of this beautifully long blue abysmal distance Rubs and grinds at my weeping butterflies Slowly scratching and scraping Until their wings itch, harden and dry Callous defenses form and sparks fly Angrily flaming and wild, their eyes beam stop-light red And they begin the fevered dance like mad, unapologetic flames Thrashing around like the sound of electric guitars Violently scattering flashes of awakened muscle, jolting Scraping against the painfully raw and skinless melody Of sweet sleepy soft love Burning to escape the still, soured enclosure Of this small, silent tank With flies floating in the slow honey Death is sealed in sweetness forever The finger of the clock circles again And now it is raining on my bed sheets My body is not wet from desire I do not think of warm kisses or loving pink tongues No, I am soaked in the cold tears of the deathly white sky Drowned in the paranoia that my love has forgotten me Bleeding in the morning at the thought of the day Standing in the middle of the room I am not so young to cling to the walls anymore I have found a proud new pain in bravery and self love When I go to sleep I hold myself With tenderness and flower petals Until the bleeding stops I am the baby and the mother I can fix what the cold outside cannot I can nurse the angels and rescue them From the burning buildings of collapsing disappointment, Decay and ruin Turn your heads to the horizon Where this moment awaits you To walk into the future Throw your face into the white light and cry But don't look back my soft little ones Don't look back

		Exist, I do 4/16/06 Like a tumble weed across the dry sleepy desert I float nowhere but exist, I do I've seen the shadows I cast when I look into the past And the present isn't here but yesterday makes clear Once, I was, look at this photograph Two hours of sleep and the moon does not speak My ears don't hear and silence I fear For the voices inside creep slowly near And my heart grows mold in the basement of time Stale and pale like a chilly april puddle Not quite warm and not quite cold Slowing the cruel worms in my brain Wriggle wild against the warm sunrise felt beyond patient, numb skin Responding to the distant humming; stinging beauty Across the bridge between this alienating separation of body and heart Stretch open my eye lids revealing the burning worlds Like naked paranoid planets rolling around in their sockets Of warm fluid and winter rain Like a womb cut open every time I blink Revealing the brave blooded, frail shivering child Gently crying behind the open still air Hungry like the homeless for just a taste But all I see down the street is complacent garbage and waste Even so, I still trudge along with my shopping cart Removing my needs from high on the shelf Reading the labels concerning my health The worlds held in tape and wax inside my empty sky Sit still, waiting for a bird to pass by For a star to shine into my eye Bleed these needs into my bed tonight I ask no one, for ears disappear And its alone that I fear So I split myself into client and shrink Root and wing, earth and cloud My castles are sand and I am proud Even when I wash away The pacifiers we offer at the end of the day Calm your child, before she lays Deep in the folds, motionlessness breathes On the surface of a lonely skin I hold my pillow and collapse me inward Into the silently judgemental, forgiving sky Of painful truth stars watching over my slavery to emotion Like bright knowing eyes of peacefully staring snakes Masking infront of our fairy tale gods Peircing into my hour of of silent responses This moment is my life

		Spacious Core 2/06 Its raining cold and grey here Can you feel me in your bones? My flesh, she whispers across the earth when you are alone I wonder for words that have no sound To give you what I am Inbetween your lips and stare I think I understand My mind floats behind dreaming skies As I walk your bridge built over the sea And the honey I kissed into your wounds Never belonged to me The stars that peirce your midnight eyes Do not exist up there They float deep inside your spacious core Where caged fireworks flare Guide my hand and show me the thorns I will show you the rose I know life's winter froze oceans of soul But hearts weren't made to close

		Alone inside 2/06 I don't know where im going im not sure why I've been except that underneath the rocks I don't hold my breath in turning blue in the face looking towards the sky its seen this all before but still I want to cry These caves drip from the ceiling I hear it all the time Surrounded by faces that don't understand I'm alone inside

		The leaf 2/06 I have travelled through the scorching valley I looked up at the sky There was no rain, I saw no sun So hot my tears wouldn't cry I've sat on top a misty mountain Above all suffering I discovered a garden growing out of my heart With vines reaching out for everything I've found the dirty lies buried in my truths They spun me all around So I listened to the breeze deep in my soul Though it never makes a sound I'm like a leaf that must fall to fly And the wind keeps changing from left to right So I've got to plan when to fall from the tree When I like the direction the sky will take me If I let go, I lose security But when I'm falling, at least I'm free And I look back up at that old tree And rage into the wind for trying to own me

All poetry is copyright © Beth Woodson Reprint only with permission. digitalgoo.com